Because scientific journals are paywalled - gibberish on Reddit is free*.

*Content is free unless you get caught and sued.

Alternate titles include…

• Ama2on
• Amazon 2: Maximum Overtime
• Amazon Returns
• Amazon 2: Am Harder
• Unmazon
• and a bonus for the trilogy… Amazon 3: Bezos Falls

Sometimes it’s a solution in search of a problem. Usually that’ll be some startup that really wants Google (or somebody) to either buy them out or shovel millions of venture capital money at them. VC that would be better used for anything that housing homeless people, feeding the hungry, or hell just burning to stay warm.

It’s been wonky lately. Maybe it’s just drunk?

This has a fair reason. If war were to break out the Chinese government could, hypothetically, hijack, kill, or break all their cars in the country.

This’ll last until somebody with a mask spray paints the cameras.

Uh, if you bought them at the store and they’re fertilized then bro something is seriously wrong.

It’s winter. My friend needs help moving stuff out of his childhood home after his mom died. Older brothers already got their share.

So here’s the 4 of us guys moving all this old shit, and we come to the upstairs master bedroom. There’s this 7-foot tall solid oak armoire. The stairs are a narrow ¾ spiral. We suspect they got it in originally by hosting it up over the balcony railing (his father had owned a profitable business before one of his brothers drank it into the ground, so it was a big place with high ceilings and stuff).

It took three of us, because that’s all that would fit, to move this humongous chungus inch by goddamn inch down those stairs. Two on the bottom, me up top, and it took like a half hour. And since we didn’t have a big furniture dolly we had to carry the goddamn thing out to the truck and walk it up the slippery metal ramp in Chicagoland flurrying winter.

Moved it into his new house, first floor master bedroom thankfully. We subsequently then told him that if he ever wanted to move it again, he could do it his goddamn self.

Edit: Almost forgot the part where one of the guys lost his footing, and just two of us were holding this in place. If one of the other two of us lost our grip, the two guys below it would have ended up in the hospital. Although my redneck friend almost certainly would have lived through it, cuz that guy and his whole family are a bunch of mutants and are practically indestructible, The other guy would probably have gotten killed or crippled since he was the one who lost his footing too.

Pepperoni.

No I’m not.

Clearly Zeus was mad that Prometheus was… stealing his thunder.

The only way you’re getting blood out of me for any reason other than medical purposes is if you pay me or commit a crime. That goes for the plasma too.

Challenger Deep.

I’m going to have to go with Hydrogen on this one.

Ankylosaurus. Extinct, but still. It’s like what you’d get if you shoved a turtle, a rhino, and a dragon into that teleporter from The Fly .

Yeah like that won’t be bypassed in about 3 seconds.

Two answers. First, WTF are you doing asking in here, go see a doctor. Hell, see 3 of em.

But also, life is just a meaningless struggle against empathy anyway. You’re best off just accepting it and trying to have some fun before your inevitable natural death.

And don’t worry, existential crises get easier to live with after your first few. It might help to get a low-dose anxiety medication.

Any Legend of Zelda game.

Phrasing!