By the way: I read your comment about hearing voices. I’ve heard voices since childhood, was minor, infrequent. But recently stress, trauma I was having hearing voices all the time, speaking clearly. Persecution, terrorizing. Felt like I was going insane

Got a lot of really good tips, thanks to everyone for chiming in. I was a serious alcoholic for decades, and haven’t had a drink in 5 years. So I will be able to quit smoking. Thanks again!

A dead rat. I found it, gave it funeral rites, put it in a tiny plastic coffin, stored it in the freezer. From time to time, I’d take the coffin out, put it in my bag, carry around with me for several hours, so the rat’s soul wouldn’t feel lonely. Then back in the freezer. This went on for at least a year.

My biggest fear, given mental health issues, wondering through out life if I’m going insane, seeing things, hallucinating, etc…

I’m terrified that the moment of death, I won’t be able to tell if it’s real or not. So it will be an infinitely protracted moment, and right now, I may already be in that moment.