That sounds profoundly lazy and shortsighted…and so is totally believable.

The rules are “make anyone above you feel good about themselves because they’ll throw a hissy fit if you don’t make them feel special.” It’s pathetic and I’m tired of it.

It’s true, but you need the skill, and buying an expensive car will only get you so far.

What?

“Fast” is the biggest number in a straight line. Life rarely offers straight lines.

Question: Is being a good listener about not speaking or about making sure the other person feels heard and understood no matter how that might present itself for that individual?

When you think about who you want to be be as vague as possible. Too specific and you might pigeon-hole yourself. It will be much easier to adjust bad surface level habits and ideas when they haven’t cemented themselves as core to your sense of being.

Chase the “why” more than the “what” and you’ll be able to be more versatile. You might find yourself to be kinder, stronger, more supportive, and be able to really trust in who you are at your core.

I love I have to distinguish between Windows settings and “no, old Windows settings. Go to the control panel” where they haven’t changed it since XP or whatever but you need it for some stuff.

And it’s always demanded in completely unrelated ways, too. When you can’t be right or at least explain yourself, be a lil’ bitch.

“They’re older so you have to suck up.”

• When ya got nothing left but the passage of time and a society that generally tries to keep you from dying…

“I’ve been doing this thing longer so I’m better.”

• Only perfect practice makes perfect. You can suck at a thing for a real long time.

“They have more money so they’re smarter.”

• We don’t have time for all the ways that’s false.

[preface: I got mad respect for you for wanting to find a solution here that works for everyone. Top-shelf stuff right there. The following is adding detail and not to berate you and I want to make sure that’s out there.]

People really don’t mind either way. The bar is on the floor with how conservatives are acting these days so simply respecting their pronouns will let them feel so much more human.

There are two kinds of respect I’ve experienced: the first is simply treating others kindly, fairly, and with patience and consideration. The second “formal politeness” is more often demanded than earned and it’s always based on stuff like “I’m older than you” because they don’t have anything else going for them. That deference is meant to make anyone who doesn’t treat them as special out to be “impolite” so they don’t need to back-up their decisions.

Most decent people don’t want the second kind of respect. I know for me it makes me feel icky thinking that someone has muted themselves because they’re afraid of making me angry. Mind you I don’t think poorly of anyone who says it, ever, because they’re just doing what they were taught and trying to be polite.