TurtleCalledCalmie

I’m at 35, still full of shit, but indeed getting it sorted out and pulling my shit together is a theme since last couple of years.

I also make computers do beep boop :). Wish you many good years before you <3

Workday

Going thru similar shit right now myself I found an anchor in working out. I started from total zero - zero push ups, zero pull ups, zero sqats, zero crunches. I can do most of these now, with pullups to go still. But I also got into better mindset and learning discipline too. Good stuff that I’ve neglected for 20+ years.

I was in similar situation, where I would sleep off daytime, then it messed up my sleep schedule for years. I got better once I realized that I am a zombie in that state. I advise going for a walk. Try to go a bit further every day. Just stop outside, it’s funny to go home instantly, so have to walk for a minute. The this has two benefits - cardio on fresh air is good for physical health and makes you tired for the night, and for me it brought relief from mental pressure and gave space that I am safe to think about difficult stuff. There is something in act of moving that help with the head. It’s also nice anchor - you are in control of his much you walk, where you walk, just do it, like guy from memes.

Be kind to yourself <3

You were gaining exp in opsec by doing that :D

Thanks!
It took many years to start to know myself, I neglected myself by improperly understanding stoicism that correlated with some mental issues and low self esteem. Many triggers I had I just broke thru with pain, always felt exhausted. There was no sense of accomplishment in the struggle as things I struggle with are normal things for regular people, that’s what I told myself, so I should not make a fuss.
It takes a lot of effort to have compassion for one self.

First, some background: Feeling stupid can happen because when you feel anxiety, your frontal lobe (where you think) turns off. Anxiety is a form of fight or flight, and when that kicks in, your amygdalas (base of brain) block off the thinking part of your brain.

TIL, thank you <3

This one paragraph explained a lot for me why during my anxiety attacks I feel like I cannot do anything. I gonna try to rationalize this information next time it triggers. Recently I had good results with doing long walks (compared to my sitting life) with doggo.
I find it helpful in two ways - when I already got an attack I go with him to stop. This one is kinda coping mechanism to get away from the trigger.
Other thing is I started to make it into my routine to go on longer walks, and during them I explore some topics I find uncomfortable and it makes them less threatening than when I sit at home. The goal is to get accustomed to the feeling, take it in environment that is safe space to explore it. I want to be able to identify it and then maybe could teach myself to react differently, instead of crippling myself.