EDIT; I can’t reply to everyone individually but thanks for all the suggestions! Opiates are out of the question, doctors here will only prescribe those in terms of absolutely extreme suffering or end of life care. I also don’t particularly feel interested in developing a hard drug habit. Diclofenac and such are available but also only on separate prescriptions, I’d have to visit another doctor for that. I’m well stocked on paracetamol & ibuprofen, and apart from that, lots of ice cream, pudding & soup :)
Also, since a fair few people seem to doubt the veracity of my story, here’s the 22 extracted teeth (the other 10 were already gone in previous extractions).
Dental eugenol, it’s a fairly powerful local analgesic made from clove oil. Some people have adverse reactions to it and so it isn’t used as frequently as it used to. So I would recommend applying it in a small test area before applying it more liberally.
You can buy it online fairly cheaply.