• stupidcasey@lemmy.world
    22·
    5 months ago

    Mine installs programs with easy to understand pop up prompts that replaces text files and filing.

  • t�m@lemmy.mlEnglish
    12·
    5 months ago

    Unfreeze self checkouts

    • tetris11@lemmy.mlOP
      7·
      5 months ago

      Oh def. Mine waves a fob and then hits some numbers, and usually waives whatever didn’t get scanned properly.

  • flicker@lemmy.dbzer0.comEnglish
    11·
    5 months ago

    I haven’t seen him all week because he’s been pondering his orb.

    • tetris11@lemmy.mlOP
      4·
      5 months ago

      I’m getting sick of that excuse, Gandalf!

    • xmunk@sh.itjust.works
      4·
      5 months ago

      If only… I’m constantly late.

      … except to parties since they don’t start until I arrive.

  • Broadfern@lemmy.worldEnglish
    8·
    5 months ago

    Provides sick ass snacks for community sacrifice night

  • ChicoSuave@lemmy.world
    8·
    5 months ago

    At first he was cool and would wash people’s cars and picking up animal poop from yards. But it turns out he wasn’t helpful. He was gathering materials and was stealing polluted dirt, piles of shit, and anything else he could find into grotesque golems that roam town and do his bidding. It’s unbearable to go to the market for some bread and milk only to discover the waste elemental made of animated shit and cigarette butts is there to get groceries for him. It’s a fucking nightmare and it makes me want to wear anti magic pendants to fuck up his errands - but that leaves behind unanimated filth that has to be moved by us mundanes. It’s so one sided it’s like tyranny.

    • tetris11@lemmy.mlOP
      1·
      5 months ago

      Two birds, one stone. You have the cleanest town in the area for free, and he gets his groceries done. Do you know how many towns would kill for that?

    • ddh@lemmy.sdf.orgEnglish
      7·
      5 months ago

      Casting his shadow, weaving his spell

  • xmunk@sh.itjust.works
    6·
    5 months ago

    I maintain the balance of the spheres, put pride into the hearts of gender bendy men with my badass skirts, and keep the database server up.

    • xmunk@sh.itjust.works
      4·
      5 months ago

      I wish to take council with this fellow practitioner of the magical arts.

  • JPSound@lemmy.world
    6·
    5 months ago

    Ours speaks in riddles but I’m really bad at riddles so I’m still unsure of why we hired him in the first place. The last town wizard conjured unspeakable entities and was really good at making balloon animals.