Ma’am, I’m not going to berate you at all. It’s your genitalia, you do what you want.

However, for anyone else coming along and taking this statement as true because someone has a vagina, please, please consult with someone that has actual knowledge before accepting that smells = infection. While some infections can be detected by smell, not all smells are signs of infection.

In truth, most people don’t get up close to female genitalia to know what smells are and aren’t “bad”. Of those infectious possibilities, two can be direct result of doing things like applying alcohol, tea tree oil, or other harsh substances.

Those two are a yeast infection, the other is bacterial vaginosis. If you’ve never smelt yeast that’s growing rapidly, you can at least have that experience by buying some and letting it grow in a jar. The scent when it’s out of control in and around the genitals is almost exactly the same, though with other scents present as well. The most common cause of a yeast infection is when something occurs to disrupt the normative balance of the genitals, giving the yeast a chance to go crazy without competition. Antibiotics in particular are very likely to cause them.

Bacterial vaginosis can be related to several different types of bacteria. Staph is possible, gardnerella, prevotella, bacterioides, and others may be present. Most often, this happens when something kills off the lactobacilli present on and in the genitals, allowing the other kinds to go crazy.

Sometimes sex with a new partner can bring new strains of those, throwing the balance off until things adjust. But, it can be caused by douche use, iron deficiency (in limited circumstances), stress, and/or as an opportunistic effect after other infections, or even after antibiotic use.

Now, please note that bacterial vaginosis being set off by sex doesn’t mean it’s an STD in the usual sense. You could have new strains of bacteria introduced in other ways, and it happens often enough after hot tub sessions you’d likely never use one at a hotel ever again if you were smart.

Again, bacterial vaginosis is not a guarantee of sexual contact with a new partner. It’s just one possibility of many.

While the smell of BV can vary a good bit, the classic smell is the “fishy” odor.

Smell is not always detectable when a yeast or bacterial infection is ongoing, so if you’re having unusual itching, changes in your normal discharges (and every cis vagina has discharge to some degree), or burning (particularly during urination), it’s worth talking to your doctor/gynecology specialist.

Now, there are plenty of other smells in and around vaginas. The two you’ll run across the most are a “musky + meaty” scent, and a slightly sour, almost tangy scent. Neither is a sign of disease or disorder, and they may occur together. There can be a sharp, citrusy scent along with those or by itself. Again, none of those smells are a problem, and many find them quite pleasant.

If you want your genitalia to smell healthy and normal, rule one is to be easy on them. No harsh cleansers, ever. No alcohol, no tea tree oil, no antibacterial soaps. Indeed, all you need to bathe genitals of any kind is plenty of warm water, two hands, and a soft cloth. Soap is not necessary, and the wrong soaps will possibly cause problems. If you can’t do without soaps, ask your gynecologist (if you have a cis vagina), or your GP, they can make recommendations as to brands. Same for penises, btw. You don’t need soap, just hands, a soft cloth, and clean water.

Seriously, genitalia are mostly self cleaning. The more you interfere in that, the more likely problems are to occur. The goal is to get rid of dead skin cells, excess oils, and any waste material that might still be present. Even the oils don’t require soap to control. Soap strips all of it away, and that’s not a good thing. You just want to keep it from building up.

For labia, you do want to lightly use a cloth or hands in all the folds. For a penis, the same, even if you’re uncircumcised. Just roll the foreskin back and gently wash with hands, or cloth, and clean water (warm is better, but not absolutely mandatory).

The source for all of this is twenty years of working as a nurse’s assistant, giving baths to patients and being directly responsible and accountable for patient hygiene and skin health. Every bit of this is what you’d get from a doctor that deals with genitals, and is current best practice for anyone and everyone.

Again, anyone can do whatever they want with their own genitals. Not saying anyone has to follow best practices. Just be aware that the more you deviate, the higher the chances of recurring problems.

Also, nobody needs deodorant on their genitals, ever. Even people with illnesses that cause bad odors that aren’t from infections, any deodorant is going to cause more problems than it fixes. Think about it, you’re applying something that holds dead skin and moisture in a warm and dark place. Any antimicrobial properties of the product are going to end eventually, and you now have damaged the normative balance. It’s setting up the worst possible outcome.

Lume? The people that own the company and do the commercials should be ashamed of themselves.