Y’all are upvoting a corporate ad. In a piracy community of all places…
Something wrong with that? Are you doing damage control for Sony?
Of the worst pizzas ever. Just another American junk food franchise who wants to score some points with gamers. Fuck them.
Yes, you would. Save the following into a file and you’ve downloaded a pizza!
Note: I’m listing ingredients for a single pizza, enough for two people. Scale them up as needed! I’ll also list things as percentage of the weight of the flour, for the bakers out there.
Dough:
- 250g=100% wheat flour. 10% gluten is fine.
- 150ml=60% water at 30°C. You can increase the amount of water once you’re used to doughs, but 60% hydration is a good start. Also, it’s fine if the water is a bit colder, you’ll just wait longer; but do not use hot water, you’ll kill the yeast YOU MURDERER.
- 10g=8% oil. Veg oil is fine here, EVOO is a waste because the taste is baked away.
- 6g=2.4% sugar. Some people use honey; up to you. You won’t eat it — the yeast will.
- 4g=1.6% salt.
- 2g=0.8% instant yeast. Amounts can be eyeballed.
Toppings:
- eyeballed amount of olive oil. This one needs to be olive oil.
- tomato passata. No, not sauce. It should be pure tomatoes, mashed. You can make it at home from Roma tomatoes if you want, just remember this is not a bloody torrent, so no seeds. Tomato puree, tomato paste etc. work fine too, as long as it isn’t the sauce you’d add to pasta when you’re overworked because of capitalism. If it’s too concentrated it’s fine to water it a bit but don’t go overboard. Ah, season it with salt and pepper.
- 200g mozzarella. Preferably low moisture (easier browning), low fat (unless you like those puddles of butter, I don’t), and low-ish salt (I’ve bought salty moz’ once for a lasagna and it ruined the whole thing).
- The toppings of your choice. Yes, even pineapples if you want. If unsure, ham/salami and olives are a safe bet.
- Oregano. A pizza without oregano is a sad pizza. Without oregano the other pizze would look at yours and say “failure~”.
- Mix every dough ingredient. There’s no fluff like “separate solids and liquids”, just mix and knead the dough well until smooth.
- Leave the dough inside a larger closed container, over your desktop tower. Go play some AAA game you pirated, those that make GPU and CPU go brrrr so the dough gets warm.
- After some time (30min? 2h? It depends on weather), the dough should have at least doubled in size. Punch it to get rid of those excessively large air bubbles, sprinkle some flour over it (so it doesn’t stick), then spread the dough over a table or already in the pan you’ll bake it.
- Wait a bit more. Half hour, a full hour, it’s fine. The dough should re-rise a bit.
- Pierce the dough over and over with a toothpick, to avoid excessively large bubbles. It’s fun to watch pita becoming a balloon, but this is pizza, OK?
- Bake it in a pre-heated home oven at the highest temperature it reaches, until slightly golden. Pizzeria would bake it with the toppings already, but odds are your home oven doesn’t reach 6000°C like their ovens do. Also, don’t brown it completely, it’ll go back to the oven soon.
- Remember that “eyeballed amount of olive oil”? Brush it over the already baked dough. Then use the same brush (no washing!) to spread the passata. Then spread the cheese, toppings, oregano. Be generous with the oregano.
- Re-bake the whole thing. If your oven has an upper heating element for grilling, use it. Then serve it immediately.
I’m copyrighting this recipe so you need to pirate it. Just kidding — it’s public domain. Enjoy.
If I could pirate food I would be dead within a month from cheesy poof etc overdose.
They eyeing making ordering through digital apps only and not through the physical locations, though?
This is what we get.
Meanwhile, we were promised this:
If I’m pirating pizza it sure won’t be dominos.
Eh I can’t complain for the price of it and they are the only ones in town with alfredo sauce as an option
Please tell me they actually posted this? 😂
It’s in their FB official account too.
Cool!
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In this case it would be an improvement. I can imagine good pizza.
Dominoes isn’t that bad, as far as takeout goes. It’s borderline tolerable, like every other chain. I taste no appreciable difference between the brands, until homemade or proper restaurants enter the mix
I taste no appreciable difference between the brands,
Either you don’t have any taste buds, or you don’t order pizza that often. A statement like this is like saying “I taste no appreciable difference between Coke and Pepsi”.
- Papa Johns’ has an almost-sugary pizza sauce that I don’t like that much. I also prefer pan pizza, but their default is that floppy NY pizza style. I consider them one of my least favorite option. Fucking Yum can’t manage any of their brands.
- Domino’s used to suck about 15-20 years ago, but they have improved in every way now. Typically my go-to delivery, for a major chain brand.
- Pizza Hut is still pretty good for pan pizza, but some think is greaser than others. They tend to use a lot of cheese, which is fine by me.
- Little Caesars, absolute fucking garbage. I’d rather heat up a cheap pizza at home.
- Cicis, barely above Little Caesars, about the same quality as Chuck E. Cheese or Mr. Gattis
- Jet’s Pizza, really really good pan pizza, a bit more expensive, but better than old standards like Domino’s or Pizza Hut.
- Mellow Mushroom, Old Chicago, Blaze Pizza, all S-tier pizza restaurants, though they don’t deliver. Making your own pizza with Blaze just makes it the top pick out of all of these.
finally, someone else that hates Papa Johns sauce. Their garlic dip is on point from what I remember, but Jesus fuck their tomato sauce ruins everything it touches. Tomato sauce should be many things on pizza – savory, salty, maybe slightly spiced, hell even just fucking bland and flavorless would be an improvement but not fucking sweet.
I think Little Caesars is a different category of takeout pizza. It’s hot - and it’s ready. And it supports a company with a business model and mindset that are more than just decent.
Little Caesars is closer to a frozen pizza experience, but at least they are priced to match.
And, again, good morals. That matters to me in a company, honestly.
Cicis, barely above Little Caesars, about the same quality as Chuck E. Cheese or Mr. Gattis
Aw, man… But back in the day when it was all you can eat for $5? Those were the days. Didn’t matter that it wasn’t the best – it was alright, and you could have as much as you wanted. Walk out of there wondering how you managed to eat the equivalent of 6 entire large pizzas in one sitting… (Not counting crusts, of course. Why would you bother eating the crust when you can just grab 5 more fresh slices?)
To describe the ones you’ve listed, each and every one up until jet’s is nutrition. Something to avoid dying. I know there is a difference between them, but it is so minimal that I can’t care enough to subdivide between different forms of human fuel.
I can’t say I’ve ever had anything past jet’s so I won’t opine there. If they’re slightly pricier, have fresher dough, and appreciably higher quality ingredients, i’d probably agree. But I make my own pizza and sauce and sometimes topping, so it seems unlikely for me to try them and offer anything concrete
It may be different in your country, but in mine there are takeout pizzas that aren’t a chain, and 95% of the time they are better.
until homemade or proper restaurants enter the mix
That’s what I’m saying
I heavy disagree with tasting no difference. I love Dominos pizza vs the other pizzas available. Sucks that they don’t do stuffed crust but, the price compared to others and the lesser oil used I love.
I buy a pamseaon sauce pizza or BBQ and bacon/ham pizza every few months through them.
Domino’s just introduced stuffed crust here recently, it’s fairly cromulent. It’s not the best I’ve ever had, but it does beat Little Caesars and Pizza Hut’s stuffed crust options for me.
It’s human food. I would eat it, like most things, to provide material for my body. I’d enjoy a pizza from a slightly more upscale place, but I’m not offended by dominoes.
They have become a full tech company now.
Pizza coin coming soon!
I won’t believe this is real until I see an AI-generated version of myself eating their digital pizza.
