Zagam

I’m that neighbor thats really, really into Halloween. My whole family is. We do a pretty big yard thing every year and this year we had the scene change every week to tell a bigger story. On Halloween handing out candy and goodies, everyone was stoked and wanted to stop and say how rad it was and how much fun it was to watch over the course of the month. Except one person. She just kept on going about how I should charge people to see it. Dude, first and foremost, I’m not going to make one of the few things I find true joy in doing another goddamned chore. Also, how the fuck would I keep people from just looking at my front yard? How do you expect me to manage that?

One good thing came of it though, after her insistence again and again I told her the only practical way to charge admition would be to do an actual walk through haunted house in my back yard. So the neighbors and fam and I are going to do just that. But for free because fuck that. I might charge her a dollar though because I’m super petty.

Ha, yeah. And later when we figured out how to double the size of 5.25 floppies with a hole punch.

I deeply believe that making money at someting is the fastest way to ruin it. That’s what my job is for, not the rest of my time. I love learning new things and having new experiences more than I love making money. As soon as I do that, it’s a chore.

Shit goes fast yo. Like Tom Waits says- Fall in love and get married then boom; How the hell did I get here so soon?

Together for 22 years, married for 15.

To laugh at the absurdity of it all.

And if you ask Vonnegut; to fart around.

I like that it’s small and that most people are kind.
I dislike that when there’s a wave of reddit refugees it gets kind of gross for a bit till they either calm down or leave.

Also, beans and moths. But I’m not going to say if I like or dislike them, or one over the other.

Ha. He earned his 2.5 hour round trip then. And honestly, had he pulled out another, $200 I’d have told him fuck off.

I was selling a saw. Pretty good one, compound mitre, slider, 12" blade, and a really nice stand. I don’t remember what I wad asking, but it was fair. Let’s say $500 for the sake of the story. Dude gets in touch, asks a couple of questions, and says yeah, he’ll take it for that price. Day comes, he shows up and checks it out. I have it set up and we cut a couple of boards to show him it’s all square and good.

He says cool, here’s $300.

I say, yeah, uh, we said 5. I’m selling it for 5. Not 3.

He looks at me deadpan and says this is all I brought.

I say well, I’m selling it for 5.

He looks at me and says I drove all the way from *city about an hour away on a good day with no traffic.

I look back at him and say Huh. I bet you wish you hadn’t done that.

He just kind of stands there looking at his shoes while I pack the saw back up and he sort of sulks off.