As a kid, I learned to “pause” my true self. School was the pause, and my hobbies, dreams, and passions were the unpause—something I’d rush back to during lunch or after class.

Over time, the pauses got longer. Tiredness and responsibilities crept in, leaving little energy to unpause at the end of some days.

At work, sometimes the pressure and the demands were so relentless that I couldn’t unpause for weeks or months at a time.

Then came marriage, fatherhood, and the joy—and work—of raising a child.

I want my son to get to know the real me but I worry that by the time he is grown I won’t have any “self” to unpause to.

  • Tolookah@discuss.tchncs.de
    17·
    13 hours ago

    The question is, do you know the real you?

    Unwinding is important, make sure to have fun time, both you fun time and you+others fun time. Involve the kid(s) when you can/want, even if it’s a cursory involvement. (I’m finding my kid loves watching me play some video games, like it’s a weird long movie)

    • Snot Flickerman@lemmy.blahaj.zoneEnglish
      1·
      12 hours ago

      The question is, do you know the real you?

      According to the Writer in Stalker, we never know who we really are or what we really want.

      WRITER: I don’t know. Maybe. Anyway – I’m sorry, but… You are so foolish! You don’t have an idea about what’s happening here! And how do you think, why did Porcupine hang himself?

      STALKER: He came to the Zone with a selfish purpose and sacrificed his brother in the “meat grinder” because of the money…

      WRITER: That I can understand. But why did he hang himself? Why did he decide not to return – absolutely not after the money this time, but after his brother? Ah? Why did he give up?

      STALKER: He wanted to, he… I don’t know. In several days he hanged himself.

      WRITER: He understood here, that not all dreams come true, but only the most precious ones! And you’re just shouting in vain!..

      WRITER: That, what is in accordance with your nature, your essence, is what comes true here! That essence that you have no idea about, but it sits in you and rules you all your life! You understood nothing, Leather Stocking. Porcupine was not overcome by his greed. He crawled on his knees in this very puddle begging for his brother. And he got a lot of money, and couldn’t get anything else. Because a Porcupine gets everything what’s porcupine-like! And conscience, throes of the soul – it is invented, it‘s brain work. He understood that and hanged himself. I will not go into your Room! I do not want to spill all the trash that has accumulated inside me, on anybody’s head. Even on yours. And afterwards run my head into the noose like Porcupine. I’d rather drink myself to death quietly and peacefully in my stinky writer’s private residence. No, Big Serpent, you are bad in sorting people out, if you lead such ones like me into the Zone. And then afterwards … ah… How do you know, that this miracle really exists? Who told you, that dreams really come true here? Did you see anybody, who would have been made happy here? Ah? Maybe Porcupine? And actually, who told you about the Zone, about Porcupine, about this Room?

      Similarly, from the Don Hertzfedlt film “Everything will be Okay”:

      Bill dropped his keys on the counter and stood there staring at them, suddenly thinking about all the times he’d thrown his keys there before, and how many days of his life were wasted repeating the same tasks and and rituals in his apartment over and over again. But then he wondered if realistically this was his life and the unusual part was his time spent doing other things.

      • tisktisk@piefed.socialEnglish
        2·
        6 hours ago

        I still don’t know what the takeaway from stalker is, and I’m assuming that’s an intended outcome from those that made it at this point lol Did they go into the room or not?