just asking what is a good one
For one to one chats and the occasional group chat? XMPP is pretty awesome and has lots of good clients (Conversations on Android, Monal on iDevices, Dino, Gajim, etc. on Linux)
If you want something closer to Discord and host public communities or very large chatrooms, Matrix is very good. You can self-host it with Continuwuity, and there are lots of clients too (Cinny, FluffyChat, Element, Fractal, NeoChat, etc.)
If you just need voice chat, Mumble is simple and works well.
simplex
Matrix, and I recommend selfhosting Continuwuity as it is lightweight and easy to spin up. Your other option could be XMPP with Snikket or proper Prosody.
Though do you have any particular features you wanna bring over from Facebook Messenger?
Are you asking just for general self-hosted messengers? Why did you mention Facebook specifically?
Matrix
but what good client that isnt designed for just businesses
Cinny is an awesome desktop client, as is Element, Fractal (GNOME, no spaces support though) and NeoChat (KDE)
For mobile, I personally prefer FluffyChat, but there’s other options too.
Gomuks and Sable
Personally I like Sable, it feels closer to Discord, has call support, and “just works”
Seconding Sable.
I’d say Element is the one to go for. A list of clients is available here:
https://matrix.org/ecosystem/clients/
Matrix and element clients
I tried a bunch. Right now I’m running Snikket (xmpp) and it’s been very reliable.
Pidgin, maybe. I like it.
Edit: Oops, I might have misread/misunderstood what you were asking. If you’re asking about server software, I’d suggest XMPP :)
Though I know Matrix is very popular (as shown by people others suggesting it)
Man, I haven’t used pidgin in almost 20 years. Throwback, or whatever the kids say these days.
