One of mines:
All the kids had a name, all except
I couldn’t get my wife’s attention the other day. So I sat down, got comfortable.
That did the trick.
What’s the difference between in-laws and outlaws?
Outlaws are Wanted.
time flies like an arrow. fruit flies like a banana.
why did the little old lady fall into the well? she couldn’t see that well.
My wife threw a bottle of omega-3 capsules at my head. It’s okay, I only sustained super-fish-oil injuries.
What do you get if you cross a mosquito with a mountain climber?
Punchline
Nothing. You can’t cross a vector with a scaler
The United States of America
Yo mama so fat, when she fell in love, she broke it.
your mama so fat, her blood type is ragu. lol
mama so fat Thannos had to snap twice!
yo mama is so fat she outweighs the needs of the many.
As someone who loves puns and other dad joke type humor, puns feel very much situational and a part of improv. They’re great in the moment when you quickly think of something that gets the crowd groaning, but I can’t just dig them up with no buildup and get that same feeling.
For example, I could tell you ten random puns without context to try and make you laugh, but more than likely, “no pun in ten did.”
I see said the blind man, as he picked up the hammer and saw.
What do you get if you drop a piano down a mine shaft.
A flat minor
What do you get if you fling a piano intro an army camp?
A Flat Major
This would be even more effective as a dead baby joke.
im on a seafood diet
i see food, and if its a fish i eat it
Does music ever make you wonder? It certainly made Stevie Wonder
I don’t get your joke and it’s hurting my brain
Nevermind got it. All the children loves poetry except Tina she can’t rhyme
All the children crossed the river except Kim she couldnt swim
Joke: Epstein killed himself. (Sorry I am terminally online)
Something about a man fucking goats.
