Not funny. A neurosurgeon did that to me and now I have to take pills for my kernel panic attacks.
Why take pill, when you can install schnapps?
Latest kernel update broke my heart, literally.
Don’t forget to oveclock it so you get more performance
We can boost it up to a full 2 hertz even!
“vi remains open, and so is my patient!”
Run Doom on it!
.Debfibrillator
But can you play Doom?
Imagine how wild the ride would be if it ran Arch…
Killall kills only one.
You should start charging them a subscription not to terminate their heart
Good one. Honestly. Well done.
Fetch or it didn’t happen…
Are you alright? Do you need mental assistance?
The pizza box laptop is still goated, IMHO.
The year is 2027. Police bust your door down and cuff you. Your pacemaker took part in a ddos attack on the gov servers
It also doesn’t have age verification and the patient lives in California.
and it’s running a bleeding edge build of systemd and thus currently under attack by social media trolls.
i get the joke but the pacemaker’s mostly just a battery. it doesn’t have much more radio than the magnetic/wireless charger your phone uses. very, very short range, no wifi at all. it’s the other implants that the pace powers you have to worry about.
This needs to be disrupted. I bring pacemaker as a service, fully connected, for a small monthly upfront fee you can enjoy the latest in pacemakers, the i❤️.
i❤️, a beat into the future.
if anyone actually decides to do this, i will literally beat them to a bloody pulp with my cane. yes this is an actionable threat come get me i will get you
[mods if you are going to allow jokes about that kind of unspeakable violence against the disabled you have to let the disabled vent about those jokes. fuck you]
There was a guy at defcon that encouragef people to hack his pacemakers bluetooth
Wait until they do smart pacemakers that can play netflix
