Ill start:
“Me cago en tus muertos” - ill shit all over your dead relatives. Spanish.
In Quebec French, people sometimes say of someone who’s not particularly bright:
“His mom rocked him/her too close to the wall.”
It’s just so… vivid and random.
A strong insult in french would be to tell that someone has been “fini à la pisse”.
I don’t know how to translate that but it would means that their dad did not have enough sperm so he used urine to conceive them.
Oh cool, we have a very similar one in German: “His/her swing stood too close to the wall.”
Bizarre j’ai jamais entendu ça…
C’est bien connu en France:
Il a été bercé trop près du mur.
Mieux vaut tard que jamais pour l’ajouter à mon arsenal d’insulte 😁
Triangeljosti.
The Jostiband is a Dutch orchestra for people with a developmental disability, mainly people with down syndrome.
A [triangle](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Triangle_(musical_instrument\)) , or triangel in Dutch, is possibly the simplest instrument you can think of.
So calling someone a ‘triangeljosti’ is basically comparing them to someone who plays the simplest possible instrument in a band for developmentally disabled people.
I’m wheezing. Never heard it before but the image is livid in my head.
This reminds me of the not-very-edifying-at-all moment when “joey” became a universal term of abuse in UK playgrounds.
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That just sounds like ableism
I mean, OP asked for insults. You should be prepared to see some you don’t like (which is the point of an insult after all).
Well, yeah, it’s an insult so it’s not exactly meant to be flattering for either the insulted party or the person they are being compared to.
Never heard that one being used, though.
It’s not super common but I do hear it on occasion.
Very Belgian: He doesn’t have all his fries in the same bag / Il n’a pas toutes ses frites dans le même sachet
Meaning that he’s/she’s dumb or confused :D
Similar to “He’s one can short of a six pack”
The English equivalent being, “She is several chicken nuggets short of a happy meal”
A few sandwiches short of a picnic.
A few cards short of a deck.
The German equivalent is “Not all cups in the cupboard”
The Australian equivalent is “a few snags (sausages) short of a barbie (barbeque)”
My personal favourites from Finnish.
“Ei ole kaikki muumit Muumilaaksossa” “Not having all the Moomins in Moomin Valley” Used for people who are either stupid or lack sanity. There are other variants of this and Moomin one is not older than a couple of decades.
I find our version of Grammar Nazi pretty great. We call them comma fuckers.
“Ei voi kauhalla ottaa jos on lusikalla annettu” “You can’t take with a ladle if it was given with a spoon”. This refers also to a lack of something, usually a lack of intelligence or sense.
“Not having all the Moomins in Moomin Valley”
That’s totally something we’ll use. Thanks :D Also I’m stealing that. I’m stealing that insult and Americanizing it and you can’t stop me
Just be warned Moomins are a gateway to communism (Weird internet theory). Or at least to more Moomins. We literally have Moomin everything here.
In Denmark you have:
- Paragraph Knight - someone who cares too much about rules and regulations.
- Fly Fucker - someone who cares too much about something deeply insignificant.
In German there is “Paragraphenreiter” - Paragraph rider.
“Κλάσε μου τα αρχίδια” which literally stands for “fart my balls” in Greek.
It’s a way of telling someone to go fuck himself.
Which can also be lovely further embellished such as “πάρε φορά και κλάσε μου τ’αρχιδια” (“take momentum and fart my testicles”) or “θα μου κλάσεις μια μάντρα αρχίδια” (“You’ll fart me a yard of testicles”, usually utilized as a defiant answer to a physical threat)
My favorite has to be zkundyksicht, it comes from “z kundy ksicht” which literally means “a face [that came] from a cunt”. “Z” = from, “kunda” = cunt, “ksicht” = a rude way to say face.
Oh my god cuntface is my new favourite insult. Thank you for this!
Glad I could be of service!
In Bulgaria we have the very creative insult „You’re as sharp as an edge on a round table”, which I find pretty amusing
Cartoon character Foghorn Leghorn, a caricature of an American southern gentleman, comes pretty close when he describes another character as “about as sharp as a bowling ball”
Wow so much lost in translation. I grew up with dubbed looney tunes, never knew he was supposed to be a gentleman let alone that it had a regional flavour. For me it was just a quirky rooster.
German Korinthenkacker (currant shitter) is someone who tries to win an argument by looking at unimportant details.
Băga-mi-aș pula-n coliva mă-tii de să-mi sară coaiele din bomboană-n bomboană
This is a highly niche one in my native language as well, as one must also know what is colivă - it’s basically a desert that we eat at funerals with m&m-sized candies in it as well. So it roughly translates let me stick my dick in your mother’s coliva so hard that my balls jump from candy to candy
That is elaborate, vulgar, and 100% delightful. I love hearing stuff like this. Cursing in American English is so boring lol
Does the insult mean the colivā is served at your mother’s funeral, or that it’s the colivā your mother made? Also in what kind of context you use this insult?
I’m not the OP but usage is dealer’s choice. It’s smooth jazz all the way down.
Here are a few Austrian ones:
“Häferl” (Cup): someone with anger management issues
“Du rüttelst am Watschenbaum” (You are shaking the slap tree): I’m close to deliver the fruit of said tree to you.
“Ohrwaschlkaktus” (Ear cactus): Someone with large, protruding ears
“Saubauch” (Hog belly): A way of telling someone that they are fat and dumb at the same time. But in a nice way.
In Tamil: சோத்துல உப்பு போட்டு தான தின்ற?
Translation: Don’t you add salt to your food?
Context: This is when somebody doesn’t react/listen/change no matter how much they are insulted. The other party asks if they add salt to their food, or if they only eat bland food, and thus have lost all emotions and have become as bland as their food.
It’s a bit difficult to explain, but the general belief is that food reflects your emotions and reactance and moods. Bland food - emotionless, spicy food - easy to anger, etc.
三小 in Taiwanese literally translates as “what sperm?” But it means “what the fuck”.
There’s a good one in Cantonese I learned from Hong Kong movies. It translates to “Are you talking?” but the implication is “You’re making noise, but is that supposed to be human speech?” Lei guuung yeieh!?
the full saying is 看三小/看啥小
literally “see what semen?”
meaning more like “the f*** you looking at?”
- Γαμώ το σπίτι σου (literally: fuck your house) I guess this basically means to fuck your whole family
- Γαμώ τη Παναγία σου (literally: fuck your Saint Mary)
- Γαμώ το Χριστό σου (literally: fuck your Jesus)
- Να μου κλάσεις τον πούτσο (literally: fart my dick) I guess this means “I’ll fuck you from behind”
- Πάρ’τα 3 μου (literally: take my 3) The 3 is implied for balls, and they’re 3 instead of 2 because it’s more manly I guess lmao
- Κλάσε μου τα 3 (literally: fart my 3) A combination of the previous two
- Αρχίδι (literally: testicle) You can actually call someone a testicle in Greek
We have something similar to “fuck your house”. “Fuck your couch” is a popular insult in American English thanks to Rick James and The Chappele Show. Still, “fuck your house” is more extreme because I guess it includes the couch, too.
Those are all amazing insults that you listed, btw.
If you rotate a 3 clockwise it becomes a pair of balls
The disapproving and insulted look of a Canadian when you’ve done something so stupid that they can’t even apologize for it.
It’s when there’s no apology or jokes, just the look, that you know you’ve become the stupidest fucker north of these here prairies and bears ya know.
In French, “pisse-vinaigre” or vinegar pisser, for someone that complains about everything
Neat! In Dutch we have azijnpisser/azijnzeiker which means the exact same thing.
Same in Dutch: azijnzeiker (azijn = vinegar, zeiker = pisser). So that one does translate well (but not to English :))
